M. X. Burns

Eight

​
 

My fingers fiddle with the buttons of my shirt as i slide them through the holes.

I stare at myself in the mirror of my wardrobe, since ive been here i think ive looked at my reflections more times than i ever had in my life previously. And now with the burden of knowing im under constant observation from Denris, im second guessing everything. Its a pressure i dont enjoy.

This is the third outfit ive tried on and it still doesnt feel right. My palms are sweaty and my clothing feels more restrictive than usual. Maybe i should have just killed him, definitely would have had today easier. Well, if i could have gotten away with it anyway. Knowing my luck, it would have went sideways and id end up in a worse position than i am now. So ill take having to deal with his stupid face and voice for a few weeks over the alternative.

I struggle with the last button of my shirt, the small wooded circle slipping from my fingers and missing the hole again and again. I let out a frustrated grunt, balling my hands into fists and closing my eyes tight. This is just what i need. Inhaling, my chest rises high and falls as i attempt to rid my mind of my anxieties.

It doesnt work, if anything its making me more frustrated.

Fuck it, this is just going to have to be it.

Leaving the last button open, I smack the wardrobe closed. The metal latch clatters loudly from the force as the door swings partially back open. Ignoring it, i drag my feet across the polished stone of the floor in the direction of the hallway. The more i stay in this room the crazier i feel im becoming, so i just pull open the door to my room and make my way out into the corridor.

Im supposed to meet Denris in the garden, whatever plan he has brewing in his fickle mind better be worth the it. I cant afford to waste more time than i feel i already have. We’re already a week and a half into the month and i have zilch. Theres only two weeks left to make headway or i return home empty handed, and that is simply not an option. I just hope i dont regret letting him help me – or letting him live.

My feet fall one foot in front of the other as i make my way down the long hall. Its early, most people either still preparing for the day in their rooms or already out at the next event. Its empty as far as i can see, other than one person going from door to door.

Theo. (for context theo is an elf servant who is about 14, finnick sees him like a little brother almost)

Giving him a small wave with a smile, he meets my eyes and changes course to my direction. Once to me, he smiles back, wide and bright.

“Finnick, having a good morning i hope,” Theo bounces slightly, rocking back and forth from his heels to the balls of his feet. 

“Its been something, ill say that much,” i cant help my playful tone. Its like every time i see him, Theo reminds me more and more of Faw’wyn. I cant tell if he’s actually similar to her or if maybe im projecting my longing for my sister onto him.

Maybe its both?

Maybe it doesnt matter.

Theo is a good person, despite his circumstances, and the little interactions i have with him bring me happiness regardless.

“You havent by chance seen Denris anywhere have you?” My eyes move up and down the corridor, my head lagging behind slightly. I assume hes in the garden, but part of me thought i wouldnt be so lucky and hed be waiting for me.

“I did see him earlier this morning,” Theo tells me, “Sir Denris asked me, if i saw you, to relay that he is waiting in the garden for you. He mentioned something about spending the event together, but forgive me as i cant recall exactly his words.”

A tinge of surprise shoots through me.

So he actually is just in the garden.

Theo must have seen my change in expression because he adds, “Is everything okay? If i remember correctly, you didnt have the best perception of Sir Denris last time you mentioned him,” his brows are upturned and theres concern in his voice, “If hes been giving you issue-”

“Oh, no no,” i cut Theo off, waving my hands, “Its nothing like that,” im not sure exactly what to say other than that. I cant exactly tell Theo that Denris caught me pinned against the wall by two castle guards after i was found snooping in the king’s royal study. That for whatever reason he decided to save me and after mentally debating whether or not to kill him, i reluctantly agreed to let him help me spy on the king and his brother in hopes of uncovering a secret project that may or may not be linked to the disappearances of elven clans, which is the only reason im even here in the first place. So instead i say, “He’s… actually not as irritating as i originally thought he was.”

Theo gives me a look i swear ive seen before. A look that says im full of it essentially.

“Okay, okay,” i give in, “He is still unfathomably infuriating, but he’s…” I wrack my brain trying to find the words im looking for to justify my reasoning, the only one being what Denris had said about me, “...different.”

Something weird flutters in my chest and i shove it down as far as possible. The feeling makes me want to be sick. Whatever kindnesses Denris has shown me do not add up to friendship, they dont accumulate into trust, and i refuse to trick myself into thinking we could actually be anything more than two people forced to work together towards a goal.

“I suppose he is kinder than most guests,” Theo’s tone is light and soft, he quiet for a moment as if considering his next words “Anyway, i believe you have him waiting for you in the garden.”

Theres something in his expression that doesnt sit right with me. Like he wants to say something but isnt?

“Theo? What is it?” he bites his bottom lip slightly as i ask, “Hey, you know you can talk to me. Whats going on?” i allow my hand to rest on his shoulder lightly.

Theo eyes his feet, hesitant, like what he wants to say might blow up in his face. But im not like the other guests, im not going to punish him for speaking.

“Could i ask you something?” Theo finally whispers out, his eyes moving between me and the floor, “Without embarrassment or judgement?”

“Yeah, yes, of course,” i try my best to convey to him that im here through my expression.

“I understand if you dont have time, with Sir Denris waiting in the garden and all the pressure of being present at the events and such. My concerns arent as important as your responsibilities as a representative of course, so if you wish me to stop and leave you to-”

“Theo, Theo…” my hands land on his shoulders to calm him. It reminds me too much of Faw’wyn, when i attempted to console her in the crowd. My heart feels like someone just shot an arrow into it at point blank range. Slowly, i release the young elf in front of me. “Im in no rush, and what you have to ask me is just as important to me as anything else. You dont have to worry about it. Yeah?”

Theo gives me a small grateful smile before taking in a deep breath, “I was hoping maybe you could… tell me about the forest? Where you come from- where our people come from…”

I dont fight the smile that comes to my face, it spreading wide, the most it has sense arriving in this hell of a castle. Against better judgement, my mind telling me im only getting more attached when i should be solely focused on my mission, i like Theo. As the days pass, my fondness for him grows, like hes a younger brother who i only wish to protect.

“I would be happy to talk about it with you,” i know why hes asked. Theo’s probably never seen the forest in person, never experienced the freedom us in the clans take for granted. It pulls at the strings of my heart. “Here, how about we walk and talk?”

We fall into step next to one another as we make our way down the corridor and I tell Theo all about the forest, about my home. I tell him its nothing like it is here. Everything feels connected in the forest, like each piece is only a small part of a bigger whole. That the clans don’t want for ridiculous things like shimmering ball gowns or massive homes. We only take what we must, respecting our homeland and providing for it when we can. I describe the trees and the peace of the forest, how its unlike any feeling ive felt here. I tell Theo everything and i watch as his eyes light up with each new detail he learns.

Its almost mesmerizing to him.

“I hope to have the opportunity to experience it one day,” Theo says as we approach the main entrance to the garden.

“Im sure you will, Theo,” I hate the feeling i get when hearing his words. The idea of him living out the rest of his life here in this castle serving ruthless nobles, it torments me. I silently swear to myself that if the opportunity arises to safely help Theo out of here, i will take it. I know i shouldnt but im helpless against myself. Hes just a kid, he doesnt deserve this life.

“Well,” Theo breathes out, both of us coming to a halt at the double doors, “Good luck out there, i suppose,” he laughs, its soft and quick, but its still there, “Try not to be too hard on Sir Denris.”

Shaking my head humorously, “Ill tell him you said hi,” I joke, giving Theo one more sincere smile and a pat on the arm before turning and pushing my way through the heavy doors leading to the garden courtyard.

The fresh air washes over me like a wave, a calming sensation filling me as i fill my lungs with the comforting scent. Unfortunately, my bliss is short lived as a mass of people come into view gathered around the garden's heart.

Multiple games that i dont recognize are scattered all about the garden grounds. Its overwhelming trying to decipher each one on my way to the fountain, where i spot Denris standing not far away. He’s speaking to someone i havent met when his eyes catch mine from a distance. I give him a forced smile, my mouth pretty much a line but its close enough. He looks to wrap up his conversation with the stranger, turning back to me and making his way in my direction.

Denris and i meet at the fountain, both of our feet coming to a halt at the same time. I cant help but notice hes dressed differently than he normally is. Where he usually wears fancy suites of some sort, a mostly restricting ensemble with red accents strewn throughout his outfits to create separation, he now dawns something more similar to what ive landed on as my go to style while im here. His black button up shirt is almost loose fitting, rolled up to his elbows, it looks to be made of a light fabric, catching the wind with every small gust. Its not helped by the fact that he has the top two buttons undone and hanging open. Suddenly i feel less worried about my own button being free. His shirt is held tighter against his torso by a burgundy vest, its hue changing ever so slightly as the sun catches it at different angles.

“I know,” Denris is the first to speak as we fully stop, “Not my usual look.”

Its then that i realize ive been looking at his outfit too long. Looking at his body too long. I pull my eyes from him and try to focus on something else, anything else. “Its definitely different.”

As i allow my eyes to skim through the garden, taking in the other guests fully for the first time today. It quickly becomes obviously clear to me that Denris isn’t the only one dressed more casual. Almost everyone in attendance, especially those taking part in games, wears more loose fitting clothing.

“I didnt expect so many people to be interested in playing games,” i say as i look at everyone playing, my eyes moving back to Denris before, “Didnt think nobles would partake in something so… fun.”

I fully expected everyone in attendance to just be moseying around in their fancy attire, acting as if they were interested in the games when in reality they want nothing to do with them and could care less. But thats not the case. Many – hell damn near all – of the nobles in the garden are taking part in the assortment of games. Every few seconds i catch one burst into a cheer or wince over what im assuming is a loss. Some even chant or root for others from the sidelines as others take their turns.

“You’d be surprised how competitive some of them can get over these games,” his voice has a hint of seriousness to it under the playful tone.

I only respond with a huff. I dont doubt they are, not with the way ive already seen them compete for each others attention and approval. Not to mention they rule kingdoms, no doubt they've been competing with each other for years over things i might call trivial. I just hadnt expected them to be the type to enjoy something like a simple game.

“We should play one,” i cant help but turn to Denris with my brows creased in response, “That is the point of todays event after all,” and there is it, that fucking smirk again. God, why does he have to flash that irritatingly perfect expression at me every damn time? I dont know what makes me want to hit him more, that look or the fact that hes suggesting we actually play one of the games.

“Very funny,” i say, full of sarcasm.

“Im not joking,” Denris laughs, “We should play one, any one. Ill even let you choose if you’d prefer.”

My god hes serious.

“I thought the whole point of us meeting here was to discuss your so-called start of a plan?”

“It is,” hes being smug. Hes enjoying my confusion.

“Fine,” i sigh out in defeat, I’ll play along, “So why waste our time playing a game?”

“Why not?”

Okay, now im actually going to hit him.

When i dont respond, only meeting his gaze with a frown, he continues with, “Relax,” he laughs, “It will make understanding my plan easier. Yes, i could absolutely stand here and explain it to you with boring words, but id much rather us have some fun while i do. Wouldnt you?”

No.

“I dont know how to play any of them,” i state in hopes that he’ll drop the idea.

“I’ll teach you. Plus is any of these simple minded nobles can grasp the concept of these games, im certain youll have no issue with them,” his expression was intentional when he says it, his brows raised and his eyes locked onto me. He was making a call back to my comment the week prior.

Hes trying to get under my skin, trying to make me want to prove im as capable as these other guests. And fuck, its working.

“Fine, just choose one so we can get this over with,” my eyes again scan the garden as i look over the options. Theres too many to choose from and theyre all so different i dont even bother trying to predict how theyre played from this distance. “Just not one of the sitting ones, id rather not spend the day staring at a deck of cards,” truth is im restless, uneasy. Allowing Denris to be in on my plans, even if he doesnt know the entire truth, it puts me on edge. My body needs to be moving, if i sit down i might just burst.

“Thats the spirit,” Denris smiles, bright and warm as he leans on the edge of the fountain effortlessly and points out a few games, “How about we start with horseshoes? Its simple, giving you a chance to ease up a bit.”

Id be more at ease in a knife fight with a bear.

Denris leads us to the east side of the garden. Theres an elf standing next to a metal rod sticking straight up out of the ground, her hands extending to us gently as we approach. In them are, unsurprisingly, multiple horseshoes. Denris takes them from the young girl with a soft thank you, he turns and hands me half before turning back to the elf and whispering something to her that i dont hear quite fully. And with that, she smiles and passes by us, leaving the two of us alone in our own little section of the garden.

“The game’s fairly simple,” Denris begins, turning his two horseshoes over in his hands as he walks a distance away from the metal stake, me following suit as he comes to a stop near another metal rod, “Usually to start we would both throw one of our horseshoes and whichever of us lands closest to the stake would go first, but since you’ve never played before I’ll go and explain the rules.”

I nod as i watch him. Denris stretches his arms across his body and then back, his muscles pulling at the seams of his loose shirt, before focusing in on the target. He inhales deep, his chest rising and then falling as he exhales. With a swift motion, he pulls his arm backwards, one of his horseshoes tight in his hand, and then flings it forward in an underhand, releasing the shoe into the air towards the stake.

The metal of the horseshoe clangs as it hits the ground and lands about six inches from the stake. Denris then repeats the action again, this time the shoe landing straight up as it leads against the pole. With a smug look, Denris straightens and turns to me, “The goal is to get as close to the stake as you can, or better yet getting your horseshoe to wrap around the steak. You get points based on how close you are, first to twenty-one points wins.”

Sounds simple enough.

“Youre up,” Denris says as we swap places, me now standing next to one rod and across from the other.

“So i just throw it and get it as close to the stick as i can?” this game cant really be that easy.

“Yep.”

Well there goes any hope for there needing to be any skill.

With a heavy sigh, i turn my horseshoes over in my hand before pulling them back and swinging them towards the goal in succession just as i saw Denris do moments before. One lands next to the stake, knocking Denris’s that had been leaning against it and the other wrapping around the pole, spinning slightly before falling to the ground around its base.

“Well that was too easy,” I gripe as i turn to face Denris. He eyes the stake across the way with shock before turning back to me. We lock eyes for a moment, his deep warm irises almost sucking me in.

Im about to pull away when his expression shifts, his familiar smirk slowly spreading across his face. Then he laughs slightly, and i cant resist the urge to smile also.

“Okay, so we want to play it that way, do we?” Denris has this look in his eyes, its almost fiery. “How about we try something more difficult?”

“I mean, only if you want a chance to win,” my tone smug now, “We could keep at this and let me kick your ass some more,” my competitive side is betraying me, i should be more focused, i shouldnt be entertaining these games, yet i cant help myself. Part of me thinks maybe Denris cant help it either.

“I try to go easy on you and this is the thanks I get,”he shakes his head but the smile is still present on his face, “Come on,” he waves as he drops his horseshoes at the closer pole, “I have a different game in mind.”

I follow Denris across the garden to a more populated area, my body instinctively tensing and pulling me back to my senses. We shouldnt be wasting time on these games, we dont have time to waste.

“So what exactly is this plan of yours?” We come to a stop near a group of people as i ask.

Denris ignores me and leans close to another man also huddled in the group, “How long is the wait?”

Are you serious?

“Not long, the crowds deceptively large,” the man responds, “Most people are just here to watch.”

“Appreciated,” Denris turns back to me, “Sorry, what did you say?”

“Your plan? Want to clue me in or are we just going to ignore why we’re here in the first place?” my patience is wearing thin.

Denris rolls his eyes playfully at me, “You seriously dont relax do you?” Why is everything a joke to him? “Let yourself have some fun for a bit, you know you deserve to put yourself first every once in a while.”

“I dont give a shit about what I need, okay,” my voice is louder than i mean it to be, attracting a few looks from those close to us. Denris, too, is taken back a bit by my change of attitude. I take a breath and calm myself, taking in the scent of the garden, “Listen, i know you mean well, but for the love of god just tell me the plan you’ve come up with.”

Denris looks me in the eyes, holding my stare before he speaks.

“Will you still play the game if I do?”

Thats it, im going to murder him.

“For fucks sake, yes, fine, ill play the damn game,” i spit out, “Now tell me.”

His expression changes and he smiles, clearly pleased with himself. “These events are all about appearances,” Denris begins just loud enough for me to hear as he turns his head to watch the game going on in front of us as he speaks. I peek over to see people throwing something small at a few boards in front of them but turn back to Denris before i get too distracted. “Connections, ties, favors. Those are what is most beneficial to you. I assume you’ve been relying on your ability to be ignored to seek out the information you need, like yesterday when you were betting no one saw you?” he turns to me as if asking if hes right.

I nod once, my lips pressed together into a line. Listening to him speak about my misstep yesterday puts a pit in my stomach. I cant believe i had been so careless.

“I believe youve been going about this all wrong,” Denris’s tone isnt harsh, but his words bother me still, “You need to form connections, though that would normally be a bit difficult, fortunately you have me,” im not sure how lucky that makes me but i dont interrupt, “If we seem to have a connection of our own, than other people will notice and assume you have something they might want. Theyll look past you being an elf quicker than you think, if only they believe youre important in some matter.”

“So youre suggesting more attention is the better option?” my brows create a crease on my forehead. Denris nods, as if what hes suggesting isnt the dumbest idea ive ever heard. “And that plan just makes perfect sense to you?”

“Finnick, these people will jump at the opportunity to use you if they believe you hold an important place. All we would be doing is making them believe theyre the ones getting the better end, when in reality, we’d be playing them in our favor,” Denris turns from me once more and focuses back on the game ahead, “The best way to get information is to get it from those eager to be on youre good side.”

My expression becomes scrunched as i process Denris’s words. Hes right, as much as i hate to admit it, he makes a solid point. But if it can actually be executed, if this plan can really work, thats completely up in the air. Whether the humans in attendance will look past my pointed ears and my sun tanned complexion, past my obvious disdain for them and their blatant bias towards me, its still a massive risk. Though if it were to work out, it would make my life so much easier.

As i eye the ground near my feet, my gut twists at a thought. Its a solid plan, it makes sense in theory, and Denris seems so confident that it will work. Almost like hes put it into practice himself. I peak at the man through the corner of my eye, this man who i have to trust but dont. Maybe thats what hes trying to do with me, maybe its what he was doing with all of those women ive seen him with?

I keep the thought to myself. As much as i dont trust him, his plan could be useful, and theres almost no way id be able to pull it off without him or his image.

“I believe a board is opening up,” a ping of excitement in his tone, “Come on, lets see what you’ve got,” Denris turns to me with a devious smirk.

Okay, lets do this.

 

—-------------------------

 

My hand shoots up into the air in a fist as the crowd around me erupts. The corners of my mouth upturned in a smile as i turn back towards Denris who wears an expression of disbelief on his face through his own smile.

I throw my arms up in a shrug, the smugness from my victory making itself known in my gesture.

“How the hell is that even possible?” astonishment fills Denris’s tone as he laughs out his question.

“What can i say? Im a natural,” actually i won because im a hunter. For whatever reason, Denris chose a game called ‘Darts’ to challenge me at.

The game was really quite simple. You just had to hit different parts of the board which correlated to numbers. We both started with a score and had to work it down to zero by throwing our own individual darts at the spaces. The first to zero on the dot would be the victor, and I just cemented my second win.

“Yeah, well remind me to never get on your bad side,” Denris’s smile is bright and contagious, i cant fight my own urge to laugh along with him as we retrieve the darts from the boards.

The next players are already lined up to take their shot at the game, although after my performance, im not sure anyone is too confident in their abilities. Denris wanted me to attract attention, so thats exactly what i did. My knack to be competitive was really the star of the show though. Once Denris tried to show me how to throw a dart, attempting to guide my arm and hand as though i was incapable, thats when i knew it was over. I couldnt stop the rapid growth of the urge to win.

“Seriously, though” Denris begins as we drop our darts off back to the elf who passed them out to us originally, “How did you do that? I mean, you hit every number with ungodly precision.”

Throwing the darts came naturally to me. It was much like aiming an arrow or throwing a knife, but different in its own unique way. I dont blame Denris for not putting two and two together, if im being honest i might have actually enjoyed whipping the floor with him.

“Im a hunter, ive literally been training my aim my entire life,” the wholw situation is so humorous, i cant fight back the laughter that fills my voice.

“And you just allowed me to make a fool of myself in front of everyone, huh?”

“Oh trust me, you could have done that all by yourself,” we both erupt in a laugh as we leave the darts game, and crowd, behind us.

Denris leads us down a winding path through the garden as we relax, the laughter slowly dying out. We both walk in silence once its left us, an air of ease settling in. I allow the smile to stay on my face as i look at the foliage and flowers we pass by, almost forgetting about everything. My mission, my purpose, Denris and his irritation, the humans, the weight. That is until Denris speaks up again.

“You get quite competitive, dont you,” is less of a question and more of a statement, his tone light and carefree.

“I cant help it,” the admittance escaping from my mouth, “Its in my bones.”

“How so?” Denris’s big doe eyes loom over me effortlessly. Pulling my eyes from his and looking to the ground, i inhale deep.

“Well my mom and dad were always competitive. They grew up always trying to be better than the other, they were basically rivals. So i guess its always been a part of me too. That urge to win,” a twinge shoots through my heart at the memory of my parents, “And when my sister came along, well… lets just say we are both just as bad as our parents when it comes to taking games a bit too seriously.”

My hand finds its way to the triskele pendant around my neck at the mention of my sister. I miss her more than anything, my body wanting nothing more than to rush back to her, but for now the memories of her will keep me going. Letting them bring me comfort instead of sadness this time, reminding me im close to her even though we’re miles apart.

“Thats quite admiral, being so much like your parents,” Denris shifts his gaze to the other side of the path as we walk, “Im not much like my parents at all, as much as they would prefer i be.”

My brows turn upwards, “Oh no, no im not like them really,” as much as i would want to, i fear im no match for the perfection that was my mom and dad, “Faw’wyn though, she is the best parts of both of them in one. I wish i could be like her, really,” part of me deep down screams for me to stop, that i dont need to be sharing my life with this man, but right now a bigger part doesnt care.

“Thats your sister, i assume?”

Her name had slipped out without me realizing, “Yeah,” is my only reply.

Denris doesnt push it, instead we continue walking in silence for a few more moments before he comes to a stop.

“Hey, look,” he bends down, coming to a crouch. As i lean to see around him, a chill runs through me. “This is the same type of plant you were admiring before, correct?” Denris’s hand cups a leaf and his fingers massage its smooth surface.

Hes right, its Cedar’s Shadow, “I… dont know… for sure, i mean it could be any plant. Im not an expert or anything, and i only looked at that plant for like a second before you…” my voice fades off as im reminded of our encounter a week prior. When he had tried to make a move on me.

Denris expels a breath from his lungs, the muscles on his back falling the slightest bit. I clench my jaw as i watch him pluck a stem of the plant from the body, its leaves sprouting across the length jitter from the break. My blood runs cold as Denris stands from his position on the ground, turning to face me as he eyes the leafy plant he holds.

“It is truly quite beautiful,” his voice is quiet, soft. He eyes the leaves carefully, almost as if he were trying to remember each natural curve and bump. His eyes meet mine, the deep brown of his irises sucking me in once more. “Here,” Denris softly extends his hand towards me, offering me the leafy plant.

“Oh, no, no i couldnt… really im okay, you dont have to, really its-” my panicked rambling is gently cut off by the man in front of me.

“I insist,” he motions with the plant towards me, “As a peace offering… and an apology,” a soft smile creeps into the corners of Denris’s mouth.

I swear this will be the end of me.

Hesitantly, my hand resisting my own movement, i reach out and grip the stem of the plant. Denris’s hand grazes mine the smallest bit as he pulls away. Peeling my eyes from him, i look down at the leaves now in my hand. This whole situation has made my stomach turn. How he remembered the exact plant i had been looking at is beyond me, its confusing and irritating. I blame my uncomfortability on the fact that he just gifted me with an intoxicant without knowing.

“Thanks…” i cant pull my eyes from the leaves, refusing to meet Denris’s gaze for fear he might somehow find out what the plant really is if i do.

The sun slowly begins to set as we silently make our way back to the garden’s heart. With the bell signifying the end of the evening having already rung, many people were currently making their way from the garden to the many entrances of the castle.

“You should turn in early tonight,” Denris breaks the silence, pulling my eyes to his.

“What for?” i cant fight the nip in my tone. The night is still young, and its the best time to be out looking for leads as no one will be awake other than the servants who pay me no mind.

“I have something planned for tomorrow evening,” Denris replies, ignoring my tone completely, “Nothing is set just yet, theres still a few arrangements to finalize, which i will be finishing up before heading to bed. But should everything work out, we will be up late, hence, you should make sure to get plenty of rest.”

Irritation simmers low inside of me. This man has been in on my… whatever it is im doing, for literally a day and hes already taken over. I fight to push down the urge to argue, bottling it up and just giving in. My body is tired, my mind in ruin, and my gut in shambles. The only thing i want right now is my sleeping corner.

“Fine, where and when should i meet you?”

“Dont worry about it. I’ll come get you from your room when its time,” A gentle smile widens across Denris’s face.

My eyes drift back to the plant in my hands, a nod being my only response before turning to leave to garden and Denris behind as i make my way back to my room.

As i drag myself back to my room, a thought crosses my mind. I wonder how Denris will know which room mine is, if he already knows or if he intends to find out somehow.

Maybe he’ll ask Theo… Yeah, thats probably it. God i need sleep.

Once to my room, pushing the thick wooden door open and latching it behind me, i set the plant down on the empty top of my table. Pulling my feet up one at a time and resting them against the edge of the table, i loosen my laces before ripping my boots off and tossing them towards the wardrobe with a thud. The entire time, i cant help as my eyes hover on the cedar’s shadow in front of me. I attempt to bury the thought in my mind to no avail.

I dont need it, it would only be a distraction… but a relaxing distraction definitely.

Standing in my room, staring at the plant i was so willing to harvest just a week prior for my own selfish reasons, my mind is a tornado of thoughts. None of which have any end or beginning, only there to cause me anguish and anxiety.

“Goddamnit,” i huff out as i swipe the leafy plant from the table and plop down into the one good chair still left. Even if i wanted to use the plant tonight, which does sound fabulous, i cant. It takes a day for the leaves to dry out enough to be usable after preparation anyway. So before i go to bed, i guess im prepping the leaves. If i decide to use them later, so be it. If not, no harm done.

Popping open the buttons on my vest and leaning back comfortably, i slowly begin to pluck the individual leaves from the stem. Carefully pulling them apart to reveal the sticky inside before painstakingly rolling each one into a cylinder shape.

One by one i slowly make my way through each leaf as night sets in.

 

Nine

 

I wake with a jolt, my body reacting to a knock on the door next to me.

Rolling over onto my other side, my face curling up in my arms, i attempt to ignore the noise like i do most mornings. Its usually just someone coming to ask if i want breakfast or if i need anything before the day starts. Most of the time i dont answer and today it no exception, especially with the overwhelming exhaustion that weighs me down from staying up late.

The muscles in my body begin to relax, the inevitable pull of sleep slowly consuming me as the world fades back away.

“Finnick?” my eyes shoot wide open, “Finnick, are you in there?” Another knock comes from the door

I throw my blanket off of me and scramble to my feet in a frenzy. I must have overslept, god knows what time it is. Now Denris is at my door and im not ready.

“One second!” my voice is raspy and cracked as i attempt to yell back. I throw my shirt from yesterday on half assed, the sleeves unraveled and the buttons laying open as i begin to rise from the floor. In my attempt to get my feet under me, my foot gets caught in the mass of blankets on the ground i call my bed. With one swift motion my foot slips, my weight being flung to the side, sending me into the bedside table with force. A pain radiates through my ribs as my bare skin is assaulted by the table's sharp edge. 

“Finnick? Finnick, are you okay?” Denris’s voice is panicked as he speaks through the door and he knocks once more.

With the wind knocked from my lungs, i pull myself back up and scurry to the far side of the room. “Im fine, i just.. just need a moment,” my right side aches as i speak and even more so when i bend down to pick up my boots. Ignoring the pain, i slip my left foot into my boot as fast as i can.

“Finnick? Finnick im coming in!”

What? No!

“Wait wait wait,” my body lunges for the door, one boot half on and the other still in my hand. But im not fast enough. The handle to my door twists and Denris flies through before i can stop it. I must have forgotten to lock it last night after finishing with the cedar’s shadow.

My body freezes as i lock eye with Denris, his expression worry ridden, mine no doubt panicked. “What happened? What was all of the noise?” his eyes leave mine and dart around the room. First to my sleeping corner, his brows creating a crease in confusion at the pile of blankets and pillows piled together. Then his gaze sweeps over the side table, now a mess with the candlestick on top overturned and its drawer slightly agape. His eyes then land back on me, except this time hes scanning my appearance.

And im half naked.

My ears catch fire as i scramble to pull my shirt shut and shield my torso with my empty boot. At least i still have my pants on, otherwise i might have just passed away from embarrassment. “Nothing i was just- i hit the- uh…” my tongue forms knots with my words as i try to explain myself.

Luckily, Denris’s eyes quickly leave me as i struggle with my clothing and words. Instead they land on the table to my right, on its surface rests the broken chair leg from a week ago along with the aftermath of my leaf prep last night. His expression shifts, his brows falling and his mouth falling open slightly as what looks like disappointment spreads across his face. 

My eyes dart from the table to Denris before his gaze falls back to me. He opens his mouth to speak but i cut him off, “Just… out, out, go,” my free hand lands on his chest and i push him out of my room, slamming the door shut behind him. Defeated, i rest my forehead against the cool wood, my eyes sealed tight.

“Fuck,” i whisper to myself.

After scolding myself silently for the number of mistakes i made, i hurry to get dressed and tidy my space. My gut tries to convince me to just stay in my room, it would be easier but nothing about this mission has been easy. Im not about to back down over an embarrassing moment with someone i should feel indifferent about.

Finishing the last fold of my sleeve, my eyes fall to the table, to the mess of stems and leaf bits scattered across its surface. With a heavy breath i pick up the wooden trash bin from the floor and scoop the waste off the table's edge. I had hoped to toss it out into the garden for it to decompose properly, but with everything that just happened, id rather not risk further embarrassment.

My hand hovers over the rolled leaves, my jaw flexes before i take them in my grasp. I lower the bin back to the ground and turn back to the side table that battered my ribs. Pulling the handle, i set the six rolls in the empty drawer, watching them shift slightly before pushing it shut again. My fingers linger on the handle for a second more before i force myself back to face the door.

Tucking my necklace into my shirt, i pull the hefty door open and slip into the east wing guest hallway. The door latches with a click behind me as my eyes catch Denris’s, hes leaning against the wall opposite of my room. I hadnt fully expected him to still be waiting for me after everything that just happened.

Denris pushes himself from the wall and makes his way to me. “I apologize for barging in like that,” he avoids my eyes, “and for the…” his arm moves in the direction of my room as his words trail off.

“Its fine, lets just forget about it,” we both nod in agreement, and Denris leads us through the castle in the direction of the ballroom.

Our walk is silent, neither of us speaking or meeting the others eyes. I think about trying to explain myself, attempting to explain what appeared to him as the torn up remains of the plant he gifted me, but i think better of it. Explaining myself wouldnt change anything and i dont owe him an explanation, whether the tiny voice in the back of my mind tells me i should or not. Even if i did get my explanation out, whos to say he wouldnt ridicule me for it?

“So what exactly is it that you have planned for us?” i ask, finally breaking the silence as we descend the stairs into the ballroom in hopes to ease the tension a bit.

He keeps his eyes forward, “Currently, we are going to attend lunch in the dining hall,” i usually avoid meals in the dining hall when its busy if i can help it, preferring rather to slip in when its almost barren.

Now is not one of those times. I can already hear the echoes of voices coming from the dining hall as they flood out the door and off of the marbled floor and elegant walls. Its packed in there, no doubt, and Denris wants us to be part of it.

“Is this part of the whole ‘appearances are everything’ bit you were talking about yesterday?”

“Now you’re getting it,” a hint of a smile flashes on his face but its gone as fast as it came. Something about the whole incident has bothered him deeply, but i decide to let it be for now.

“That cant be the only thing you have planned for today though… right?” Surely theres something else if he had to spend extra time yesterday preparing.

“You’re correct, there is one more thing. An event that im sure will yield plenty information, while also serving as a bit of a treat,” the last part causes my brows to furrow slightly, but Denris doesnt explain further. Instead we continue down the stairs and into the dining hall below in silence once more.

We’re greeted by Theo as we pass through the massive double doors under the curved staircase. He told me once that his duties include be at every formal meal of our wing, so im not surprised to see him. I just wish it were under different circumstances.

“Sir Denris,” Theo bows his head slightly to Denris before turning to me, “Finnick,” he conceals a smile, only one corner of his mouth raising ever so slightly.

Denris side eyes me with a look i cant read. His eyes bouncing back and forth between me and Theo before a smile spreads across his face, the first real one ive seen him bare today. It puts me at ease a bit.

He shakes his head in amusement, “No ’Sir’ for you anymore it appears. I thought you would tell me if you ever cracked the code,” i cant help as a smile of my own creeps across my face. Theo himself almost cracks as he leads us to a table near the far left end of the room.

Once seated, Denris proceeds to order for the both of us. I debate arguing that im plenty capable of ordering my own meal, but i restrain. The last thing i need is another awkward moment today.

The duration of our meal is almost entirely in silence, only the occasional small talk that Denris brings up as we sit across from one another. The whole thing puts me on edge. This is the longest ive been around this man without him constantly talking. Its unnerving.

By the time we finish our meal the sun has already reached its highest point and is on its way back down to the horizon, though for a while theres still a considerable amount of daylight left. A different elf clears our table for us and Theo sees us out. Him and i exchange warm smiles and i give him a gentle squeeze on the arm before following Denris once more.

We stride through the east wing gallery, an unsettling tension in the air that makes it hard to focus on anything else. Theres some event going on in the garden but Denris leads us past the doors and we continue until we reach the stairs where he gestures for me to ascend first. Hes close on my heels as we come to the second floor.

My blood runs cold as a guard stands in position next to one of the library entrances. Instinctively, my hand shoots up and under the lip of my vest. The hilt of my dagger coming into contact with my fingertips as my last experience with the castle guards flashes through my mind. The only thought coming to mind being that Denris must have set me up.

Though before i act on my impulses, Denris passes by me and pulls a small card from his own vest and flashes it to the man. With a quick nod of acknowledgment, the guard steps out from in front of the double doors. Denris turns to me as i slowly lower my hand from my torso, still at the top of the stairs.

“You coming? He asks as if we hadnt spoken the entire way here.

Pressing my lips into a line, i straighten my vest back out and follow Denris through the doors and into the library. Shock and confusion spreads across my face as i look around the massive room. It looks almost unrecognizable.

Where there had once been massive tables surrounded by chairs for guests to sit and read from the library's selection, now resides a collection of armchairs, small sofas, and side tables scattered about the floor. Many of the shelves that took up space around the tables have also been moved, creating an even bigger opening in the center of the room than before. Candles encased in glass hang from the ceiling, their warm flames flickering softly as they reflect off of the glass. They would make little difference here if not for the windows being covered by massive pieces of fabric, blocking out the sun and creating a comforting, warm atmosphere.

The vast difference is almost so distracting that it takes me a moment to notice the room is filled with people. Filled with male guests. All of whom are drinking from whiskey glasses as they laugh and chatter with each other around the room.

Denris leads us through the room, greeting a few other men and making small remarks as we pass. We come to a stop in a group towards the far half of the room, some of the men i actually recognize.

“Denris! Glad you could make it!” a familiar face reaches out and shakes Denris’s hand and pulls him into a quick hug. The man – Nathan, Governor of Timbrainan – then turns to me and smiles wide. I can almost feel my soul leave my body as he approaches. “And Finnick!” he grasps my hand firmly and pats it with the other, “Denris mentioned he’d be bringing the Darts Master with him this evening.”

Warmth nips at the very tips of my ears, “Yeah… wouldnt miss it,” Nathan drops my hand, his warm hazel eyes alight as he reaches back to a table behind him and grabs two glasses that he offers Denris and me.

He then proceeds to pour us what i assume is alcohol as another man next to me chimes in, “It really was quite impressive, that aim of yours,” his accent is thick and rich. His black hair falling messily around his face, his goatee in contrast as it rests well kept on his face. Something about him looks familiar, though im positive ive never met the man.

“Thanks,” this is so fucking weird.

“Arlo,” the man extends his hand to me. I take it in my own in the same fashion Ro had taught me what feels like ages ago, “Co-Ruler of The Mirrored Towers.”

The dots connect in my head as i finally realize why he looks so familiar. “Aiza’s brother, right?” He looks just like the woman i had met at the culture sharing event. When Denris had roped me into his group of guests, the same group where i met Nathan.

“That would be me. My sister told me bit about you after meeting you last week, though to be honest, i hadnt given it much thought until i saw those skills of yours in the garden yesterday,” Arlo gives me a smile, and although im not sure how to feel about the comment, i smile back anyway.

“A toast!” My head snaps back to Nathan as he raises his glass high in the air, “To Finnick, and that absolutely ridiculous aim of his!” i can feel embarrassment settle into my bones and the intense feeling to slither away before the room erupts in a cheer. To my surprise, almost everyone in the library has raised their glasses along with Nathan.

“He might have already had a bit too much to drink,” another man in the group adds but has his glass raised along with everyone else, a smile plastered on his face.

My eyes lock with Denris’s, he offers me a friendly smile as raises his own glass with a wink. This must be what hes been on about. This acceptance – or at least the beginning of it – its all a part of his plan. And i have to admit, so far it seems to be working.

 

—-------------------------

 

An hour later my body is tired and ive surpassed my usually limit of a single drink at events by two. I might have gotten a bit swept up in the excitement of the group and let my competitive side take over, accepting a challenge to go against just about everyone in the room in an impromptu darts aim test. After having someone set up a board and bring in plenty of darts, one by one the men line up to throw a handful of darts against me to see who could hit more accurately. Someone would call out a number and whoever got closest would stay, the loser being replaced by the next challenger. Safe to say i didnt get replaced the entire time.

“So tell me,” i start as i fall into the chair next to the one Denris sits in with a victorious huff. Luckily hes eased up more with the help of many alcoholic beverages, “Other than fucking around and drinking way too much, how is this event suppose to help us again?” I keep my tone light, but i slip in a hint of seriousness. Although i might have seemingly won over many of the guests here in the library, it wouldnt mean much if we gained no new information all day.

Denris pulls at the buttons of his vest, letting it fall open freely. I pull my eyes from his torso, not wanting to focus too much on how his shirt pulls against his chest. “You've really never been to one of these?”

I tilt my head at him sarcastically. “Do i look like ive been to one of these?”

A laugh escapes from Denris’s lips as he shakes his head. “Its a gentlemans’ night. An event only for the men, as youve seen already no doubt.”

“So these guys are who we’re getting the info from?” It would make sense, especially since they all seem to favor me – or at least tolerate me – now. And with the kings of Restaria and Stokes both absent from the evening, this would be a good time to question a few of the nobles they might be close to.

My question elicits another laugh from Denris, deep and pure. A crease forms between my brows as I wonder what was funny. Before i can get a question out a small bell chimes from the other side of the library, every pair of eyes in the room drifting in that direction. Theres something in many of them as the men stand in anticipation, an urge or hunger of sorts. Then, as if appearing out of thin air, a number of women cascade out from behind a line of recently moved bookshelves. How they got into the room over there escapes me as theres no door in that corner, and they definitely havent been there all evening.

I feel myself pale, realizing what this is and kicking myself for not figuring it out sooner. The women are dressed in revealing clothing, their busts cut low and their skirts loose, thin. Slits run from the bottom hems all the way up their tights, revealing peaks of smooth, silky skin with every step they take. They flaunt and strut out into the open as all the men in the room bare witness to their beauty. As soon as the blood drains from my face, it rushes back and floods my ears, setting my face ablaze.

My gaze shoots back to Denris with what i can only assume is an expression of horror. “I thought this was supposed to help us get information?” My tone comes out anger coated in an attempt to hide my fluster.

“It will,” and again he laughs me off, leaning in closer to me once hes done, “If persuaded properly, these women are the best source of information we could ask for. They pick up bits of information from each individual they provide their services to, being silent listeners and observers of commoners and nobles alike,” Denris allows his eyes to hover, lingering on each woman as he speaks to me in a quiet tone, “Bets are, if anyones heard about the business between the two kings, it would be one of them.”

My mouth opens to retort, but my mind is blank. I have no good argument against his plan. Pulling my mouth closed, jaw clenching, my eyes fall back to the group of women who are now slowly dispersing around the room like a pack of wolves hunting for prey.

Many of the women drift towards men waiting eagerly for them while others take up positions on various tables or step boxes around the room. Their bodies swaying fluidly, the rolling motions effortless as they dance seductively, the mens’ gaze eating up their every move.

Except mine.

My eyes are locked onto two women headed straight for me and Denris.

It feels like the air has left the room. My throat feels like its closing. Im a cornered animal with no escape as they approach. My eyes shoot to Denris who eyes one of them up and down. As i look back its hits me.

One of them is an elf.

Her hair is short, dark, and curly. Barely reaching her shoulders and caressing near her collarbone. Her gaze drifts over to me for a moment before she locks eyes with Denris. Her green irises almost light up at the sight of him. And he cant hide the hunger now on full display in his own eyes.

“You know, you’re not exactly helping those elf fetish allegations,” my expression hardens and that familiar irritation settles itself back into my being as im reminded of who this man really is.

“You’re telling me you do not find her attractive?” Denris retorts without pulling his eyes from the elven dancer.

“What? Why is that –”

“Why hello there boys,” the women reach us and my eyes shoot back forward. The human one speaks in a light, flirtatious tone. Her skin is dark and rich, the candlelight illuminating her beautifully. Thick, tightly curled hair bounces with her every step, the length stopping just short of her jawline. “Now dont you two look like you could use some company.”

My heart stops and falls straight to my ass.

Before i can bring myself to speak, the elven woman leans in close to Denris. He doesnt move as she bends low, her cleavage threatening to expose itself with the shift in weight.

“Care for a dance?” My eyes shoot back to the woman in from of me, now close enough that i could reach out and touch her, but my hands stay frozen as they grip the arms of my chair. Its clear i wont get any help from Denris as hes already fast at work with the elf women, locked in a whispered conversation as she runs her hand up and down his arm.

I swallow hard, forcing the lump in my throat down as i attempt to make eye contact with the woman. The points of my ears are hot as i muster the words. “Im sorry… ive never- i dont really know… i mean i know you- not that i would…” God could the words come out any more jumbled and panicked?

The woman above me smiles gently, the expression sincere, “Its okay. How about we just take it slow? Would that be okay?”

I dont know what to do other than nod once. Keeping my hands planted securely on the arm rests, my fingers balled into fists, the woman begins slowly swaying her body as she takes small steps ever closer. It feels wrong looking at her, my eyes instinctively focusing on her face.

She moves like water, her hips dipping and rolling like waves. Her hands caress her own body, sliding from her hips across the sides of her waist, traveling up her torso and to her breasts. Her delicate fingers trace the low neckline of her top, gently gliding over the silky skin peaking out just above it, as if teasing at whats underneath. She then rubs her hands over the rounds of her chest – moving from the center to the edge – leaving just her fingertips skimming the surface of her exposed skin as they trail up to her prominent collarbone. With a rehearsed motion, the dancer in front of me runs her hands behind her head while spinning slightly. Her hands play in her hair and above her head as she slowly lowers herself down into a squat and back up as if it were effortless. Her ass pulls tight against her skirt as she bends, exposing every curve and dimple of her body underneath.

I rip my eyes from the woman and shoot them over to Denris, desperate for something though unsure what. Its no use trying to get his help, as hes being very friendly with the elven woman now fully on his lap. Her hands running through his hair, her body making fluid motions against his as his hands rest on her waist.

Digging my thumb nail into my cuticles, i face back to the woman in front of me, a sharp twinge shooting though me.

Of course hes being handsy with her, she is a dancer after all, its what theyre all doing. But seriously?

He just had to have an elf, didnt he. We could be doing something – anything – more useful, but instead he would rather waste time with this woman. And hes just so comfortable with the whole thing. Hell, hes enjoying it.

Blood simmers within me at the idea. My heartrate beginning to race for all the wrong reasons, it having nothing to do with the woman in front of myself. Hard as i may to focus in on the dancer in front of me – to get lost in her movements and body – i cant calm the building frustration inside me.

“Im sorry,” my voice is strained as it comes out, my words gentle, “Would it be okay if we stopped? Not that youre doing anything wrong – i mean youre very beautiful and all – im just…” Just what? “I dont want to offend you or anything, i know its probably not often someone asks to stop – not that you do this all the time i just mean anyone in their right mind wouldnt be – i… im sorry.”

The woman in front of me turns back to face me, a bit of shock on her face but its quickly replaced with a soft understanding look. It hits me then that its most likely not often that men ask her to stop, or even ask her anything. Most likely they just do what they want without any mind for what she wants. I wouldnt doubt that these women rarely get the luxury of a choice. A pain shoots through my heart at the thought like an arrow set free from an over tensioned bow.

She gives me a smile as she nods, “Of course, theres no need to explain,” and with that, she turns from me before drifting back around the room in search of a new subject.

With a deep breath, i lift myself from the armchair and run my hand over my face. I risk a glance over at Denris, regret immediately sinking in my gut as i see exactly what i expected. The elf woman still sits on his lap, her legs straddling his hips as they squeeze into the chair meant for one person. Her hands tease the top buttons of his shirt with tension, his hands low on her ass, fingertips slipped ever so slightly under the skirt thats pulled tight against her thighs from her positioning.

I turn my whole body away, ripping my eyes from them with force as the simmer of anger rises. Swinging my feet out in front of me, i start towards the door. Where im going, im not sure, but i cant be in this room any longer. I need to get out.

“Finnick? Is everything alright?” Denris’s voice behind me pulls the air from my lungs, but i cant bring myself to look back at the two of them again.

Instead i toss my hand up and wave him off, “You seem to have this handled,” i throw over my shoulder without stopping my stride.

Pushing the doors open, i exit the library and find myself back in the east wing corridor. I suck in a breath, the first full breath it feels like ive taken since shit hit the fan. Without further delay i pull myself down the hall and to my room, swinging the door open wide and shutting it behind me. The silence is comforting compared to the constant hum of conversation i had been immersed in the last hour or so.

I plop my weight down into the good chair left at my table as the built up tension leaves my body. Unfortunately, though, as much as i had hoped the anger would have eased from me with leaving the event, it still resides, only continuing to fester with every growing minute.

My eyes fall to the bedside table. The same one i had falled into earlier in the day. The one where the rolled cedar’s shadow leaves are hidden. I tug at the buttons on my vest as i stare down the handle to the drawer in a silent debate.

“Fuck it.”

Shooting up from the chair, my ribs burning with the swift motion, and im at the bedside table in seconds. The drawer squeals as i rip it open, grabbing the first roll i see and slamming it back shut. With my free hand i yank at my vest frantically and with frustration. A single button snaps from its threads and is sent airborne across the room, landing somewhere out of sight with a small sound. Ignoring it, i toss the vest on the trap of a bed before snatching up the box of matches resting on the side table that would otherwise just be for the candles.

Taking a match in my hand, i scratch it across the wooden surface of the table, setting it ablaze. Pulling the now dried, rolled leaf to my lips, i meet the match to its end, slowly singeing the end before shaking the match out. With a deep inhale – my ribs retorting with a twinging pain as my lungs expand – i welcome the slight sting of smoke flowing down my throat and into my lungs. My eyes fall shut as my skin pricks with goosebumps at the sensation.

I allow myself to hold in the smoke a long second before tilting my head back to the ceiling and letting it flow from my lungs and upward into the stagnant air slowly. My shoulders slump slightly as my body relaxes, the smell filling the small space. The sheer, white cloud dances through the air, hanging for a long moment before it finally disperses mostly into nothingness. Though logically i know it’ll take more than one hit to feel any real effects, i can almost convince myself i feel it already.

Taking the matchbox with me, i drag myself back through the door with the rolled leaf held between my lips, march myself to the familiar balcony down the hall, pushing the door open, and taking my place leaning against the cold, rough stone of the half wall railing.

The sun is out of sight from my view of the courtyard, likely low in the sky or teasing the horizon by now. The sky a mix of blues and purples, hints of reds mixed at the edges, peaking out ever so slightly from above the castle walls as stars start to make themself known.

I pull another match from the box and run it along the stone, it coming alive with a spark before i light the leaf once more as it hangs from my mouth. Out here i wont have to worry about the smell, wont have to worry about the smoke lingering in the stagnant air. The breeze will carry it away for me.

My lungs burn with each inhale i take. My ribs screaming in retort as i greedily suck in as much as possible with each hit, being a constant reminder of this mornings events that id much rather forget. Begrudgingly, i set the matches down on the stone railing before pulling my shirt out from its tucked place in my pants. I hadnt looked at the impact area since i threw my clothes on in a frenzy many hours ago, nothing felt broken but nothing felt completely right either. My ribs once again roar in a dull agony as i lift the hem of my shirt up to reveal a mess of black and purple from the top of my hip almost all the way to my armpit.

“Damn fucking table.”

It it were possible to murder an inanimate object, i would. Or maybe i should be blaming Denris for being the cause of it all. If not for him, after all, i wouldnt have been in the situation that resulted in this.

My fingers trace gently over my skin in examination, softly pushing on each rib – in which sends spouts of pain shooting through me predictably – to make sure none are broken. And as i expected, none are. Still, a sigh of relief escapes through my lips past the roll in a puff of smoke. I allow my palm to rest on my side, feeling the warmth of my own body against the cold of my hand. My head falls back as it did back in the room as i take another inhale, feeling the movement of my bones under my skin as smoke fills me to capacity.

A gust of wind picks up as i exhale the contents of my lungs up into the night sky. The sound of a light scraping whispers through the air causing me to look down just in time to see the box of matches slide to the edge of the stone surface.

“Oh fuck!” I lunge forward in an attempt to catch them, my weight pushing into the half wall and my hand shoots out, just missing the box as it glides off the stone and down into the growing darkness of the garden below. I cant even bring myself to say anything, my words instead replaced with a defeated sigh. My entire box of matches, gone.

I decide instead of staying out late and mourning the loss of my matches, i should turn in for the night. The effects of the cedar’s shadow have settled itself into my being, doing exactly what i needed it to do. My body feeling light, my mind at ease, and my worries taken away by the wind.

As i stride down the empty corridor, i debate putting the leaf roll out, if i do i dont have another way to light it. Though without being lit again or used, before long the embers at the end will fade and die out on their own. I twist the warm cylinder in my fingers, eyeing it with my head down as i approach my room.

But something further down the hall catches my attention before i can enter through my door. Leaning against the wall just a handful of doors down is Denris, the elven dancer leaned up against the wall, her back to me as they face each other. They’re locked in a conversation as my pace slows near my door. The subsided anger begins to simmer once more in my veins at the sight of them.

As if he felt my eyes on him, Denris glances past the girl and locks eyes with me as i stand next to my room.

I hate him. I hate the way he looks at me, the way hes almost trying to explain with his eyes. But theres no explaining, hes taking yet another woman to bed. He wasted an entire day, had me believe that the event would help us – me – get the information we – i – need, all just for him to satisfy his weird urges.

Funcking humans. Always fucking humans.

I stare him down, refusing to be the first to look away as tension builds between us. Instead, i slowly lift my hand, bringing the rolled leaf to my mouth. The embers are barely alive before I take it between my lips and inhale deep, the end lighting up bright. My eyes never leave Denris’s.

Plucking the roll from my mouth, i slowly let the smoke leave my lungs, flowing freely into the air of the corridor as the disdain plastered on my face remains unwavering. I put all of my frustration, all of my anger and furry into my gaze, focusing it all on the human man down the hallway.

Denris’s facade shutters slightly, a look i cant quite place flashing across his face before he rips his eyes from mine and back to the elf in front of him. I cant stop from shaking my head in disbelief – or maybe its annoyance, possibly just more frustration, i cant tell – turning to the door and pushing my way inside before having to deal with the man any longer.